Module 1: Live Call & Module Overview
DO EVERYTHING OUT OF LOVE FOR YOURSELF (THERE IS NOTHING THAT IS NOT YOU)
Here is the link to the Ted Talk by Mamakin (Danielle Caruana) that I refer to in this call: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmACKRlKwvM )
Now of course we could name this module simply, “Do everything out of love” and it would be as equally true and valid but the problem with this is the bulk of women would likely leave themselves out of the equation.
It is absolutely imperative you cultivate an ever growing love for yourself and let every action spring forth from that action.
This is a BIG teaching and a HUGE concept to apply to your life but it is wildly profound and I would say the magic pill of practices.
What I mean when I say that is, when you are able to fully install this as a foundational program within your psyche, you will get waaaaaay more traction and mileage out of everything else that you do.
Love is the most powerful force. Anything else pales in comparison to it.
Anything you do, you must do out of love for yourself. It’s like the quote I believe from Osho or Rumi, “Don’t move the way fear makes you move. Move the way Love makes you move”.
If you try and lose weight because you believe you are worthless, unattractive and no good – it will be very hard for you to lose weight because you believe you don’t deserve to be healthy, vibrant and strong.
If, however you cultivate an attitude of loving yourself and your body and making healthier choices out of love for yourself and your body anything you do will not only be more effective it will also be more sustainable.
In Tantra there is a teaching around the idea of pure motive and it goes a little something like this:
When you come to practice, practice not because you believe yourself to be flawed or broken – instead practice out of love for yourself.
When you come to practice, practice not simply to feel good because if your sole desire is to feel good you will sidestep the aspects of your practice which are uncomfortable yet necessary for your growth. Instead practice to know the truth. If your intention is truth you will be prepared to pass through discomfort to reach the truth.
Finally, it teaches us that we must not practice for glory, or to manifest great things into our lives but instead for what is of the greatest benefit to all people (including ourselves). This is not about being a martyr but instead realising that we cannot desire & attain true abundance, vitality, joy and fulfilment without desiring it for all sentient beings.
The final part of this teaching is, if you feel you are not yet able to do everything out of love for yourself – then have the intention to do everything out of love for yourself.
We offer a prayer…
May I practice out of love for myself,
May I practice to know the truth,
May I practice for what is of the highest benefit to all beings.
I would shift this around a little to encompass every action we take.
May I act out of love for myself
May I act in alignment with truth (we will have a whole module on truth)
May I act for what is of the highest benefit to all beings.
Unwavering Self Acceptance
There is so much to unpack here and it starts with complete and utter unwavering acceptance of yourself.
I completely love, accept and forgive you.
Always and forever.
This means every time you yell at your kid when you would have liked to handle the situation the way a more conscious and aware parent would have – you say to yourself “I completely love, accept and forgive you.”
Every time you look at yourself in the mirror and you start criticising the way you look you say to yourself (ideally out aloud, looking into your own eyes) “I completely love, accept and forgive you.”
Every time you spend money that you should have spent on something “more important” and you are just about to reprimand yourself for being so terrible with money…. You guessed it “I completely love, accept and forgive you.”
Don’t Censor Yourself
Part unwavering acceptance is not censoring yourself because when you censor yourself you don’t get to feel into the process of exploring multiple possibilities. Exploring not only polarity but the entire spectrum in between is an important tool for learning how to gage what is true for you at the deepest level.
This doesn’t necessarily mean shouting everything you think from the hilltops or publishing it on instagram but it does mean you need a place e.g. your journal and your own mind where you give yourself the freedom to think whatever you are thinking and feel whatever you are feeling so you can somatically interpret the information that is in those thoughts and feelings.
If you never trust yourself enough to explore an idea that you may have mixed feelings about you will never learn how to feel into a truly authentic answer.
If you think you hate your job, let yourself explore that. If you think you don’t love your partner anymore, let yourself explore that. You get to do it in the safety of your own journal, or even just your own mind but whatever you do don’t censor yourself, from yourself.
I’d like to share with you a piece of writing by Peta Jean Kelly (Author of “The Earth is Hiring)
Healing is when on an ordinary Tuesday morning, you hear the voice inside sound different.
When you reach for social media, or a stimulant, or extra work instead of the stillness, or the hard conversation you promised you’d have or the rest you’re avoiding… your voice has changed. She now says ‘you’re running. And that’s ok. I will love you while you run. Because only by loving you while you run will you stop running.’
When you reach for food when you’re emotional but not hungry… your voice has changed. She now says ‘you’re numbing. And that’s ok. I will love you while you numb. Because only by loving you while you numb will you stop numbing.’
When you’re sitting on the floor having the most beautiful moment with your kids and you stand up suddenly to do the dishes… your voice sounds different. She now says ‘you’re escaping. And that’s ok. I will love you while you escape. Because only by loving you while you escape will you stop escaping.’
This is THE ONLY WAY we love our children and the world with the boundless compassion we want to love them with – by speaking to ourselves differently in the private moments on an ordinary Tuesday afternoon.