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Currently going through a massive process of unlea

Currently going through a massive process of unlearning, erasing default programming & practicing new ways of being in regards to parenting. There is a big gap between the values I hold for my own evolution & thriving & the way i teach my children. I am watching my triggers arise when I am unable to control the situation with my 5 year old or “make him see” the way “he should” be.

I'm currently practicing handing the reigns over to him as much as I can manage. To resist the overpowering urge to control, enforce & manipulate his choices & expression. To let him make his own decisions & mistakes wherever it is safe to let him do so.

The intention? For him to learn to skilfully navigate his own inner compass.

I want my children to experience deep listening, autonomy, freedom and sovereignty as their default state of being.

I want my children to confidently discern & trust the wisdom of the quiet voice within. To practice this for the little things in their little lives, so that by the time the big things, in their big lives come along, they are masterful in the field of autonomy, sovereign self-creation and inspired artful living.

In “Free to Learn” Peter Gray exploreses declining rates of free play (without adult supervision) & an ever increasing external locus of control (longer school hours, extra curricular activities & parental supervision). These being in direct correlation with increasing rates & earlier onset of depression & anxiety in children. The system aims to raise obedient & successful on paper rather than their natural state of playful, eager to learn and joyfully curious about the world around them.

I know what I would rather my kid be... but it’s way more work. Teaching him to be obedient would be easier. This is the looooooong road, and I feel like the path is often made of sharp stones & unfamiliar turns that I don’t yet feel confident in navigating. The old path is more familiar. Both have scenes of joy & hardship along the way, but every now & then I catch a glimpse of where we are going & I know the future we are travelling towards is one of greater beauty, richer rewards & deeper contentment & connection for all of us.

EVERY FLOWER HAS A RIGHT TO BE BLOOMIN’! I’m

EVERY FLOWER HAS A RIGHT TO BE BLOOMIN’!

I’m pretty sure “kitchen dancer” was the first line on my first ever Instagram bio... moving my body freely to music was always a big part of my life but apart from my party days - it tended to only happen privately, or inebriated. Mostly because I didn’t think I was good enough to dance in front of people.

Wtf??? I didn’t think I was good enough to be IN-JOY in my body in front of people???

I pretty much completely stopped dancing for enjoyment when I got into a serious relationship with @nick.mcn because even though I had no problem letting loose in front of him on the dance floor - I was too self conscious to dance in front of him “just because” in the house.

That’s right... too self conscious to be IN JOY with my body for the pure pleasure of it in front of my loving partner.

I also got majorly triggered when I saw people like my dear sister @_intuitivesoul_
dancing up a storm on social media.

About a year and a half ago I decided to start working through this because a) I fucking missed dancing and b) I saw that same self consciousness appear in my son.

I am no longer interested in holding myself back, hiding my imperfections or entertaining my triggers (only exploring them). I’m no longer interested in trying to look a certain way or waiting until I do to be seen by people.

It’s boring. It’s so fucking boring.

My son is copying me in this video (he’s dancing to his baby on the lounge) and he is finally starting to feel free enough to cut loose. #parentingwin

I am only interested in demonstrating a high level of self love, acceptance and full mind body spirit thriving to my children.

Because they don’t care what I say, they will do how I do.

So I am doing me... and I’ll dance and sing and smile and thrive while I’m doing it.

I’m doing it with the hope that they will grow up proud to share their perfectly imperfect selves, their gifts and their own unique type of medicine with the world...

...and of course they will be the people that hold the space for every other perfectly imperfect soul to do the same.

Because ALL the freaky people make the beauty of the world!

The world of doulas was not something I ever gave

The world of doulas was not something I ever gave much thought to for a long time... but not only have I just come out of having one to support me through Our birth, I have also ended up photographing and connecting with a lot of doulas through my work.

Now I’m a total doula convert... and I believe everyone should have a doula. Not just for birth but for business, death of a loved one, passion projects and any major transition or rite of passage in life.

I mean obviously to employ a doula for support through any transition denotes a high level of privilege and is potentially an unrealistic expectation for many.... but wouldn’t it be nice if we all had that level of support?

Like my doula @brionygoodsell said to me on one of our visits, in a perfect world we wouldn’t need to pay for a doula, everyone would just have access to that level of care, support, nurturing, space holding and friendship.

One thing I have been thinking about lately is the way that the skill set each doula brings to her craft varies immensely.I feel that Bri’s skill set matched my needs perfectly and I relished the support I received... yet another doulas package might look COMPLETELY different and that’s so perfect because that will be a perfect match for another woman.

If I were to offer any Mumma to be some (unsolicited) advice on employing a doula... it would be really tune in to what type of support you need, and find the doula who’s passions and skillet are the best compliment to your needs.

This image was taken by my wonderful doula who created this sacred spiral crafted from Luna’s umbilical cord as well as the red thread I wore around my wrist from my mother blessing. Such an treasured and unique keep sake!

Thank you dear Briony for the incredible nurturing, massages, food, tinctures, photos, company, faith, love and friendship. 💕

📸 of course by @brionygoodsell

True or false, you can be living your life’s pur

True or false, you can be living your life’s purpose, your razón de ser, your dharma even when you are not working?

I remember when my first child was a few months old I was kind of getting itchy feet because I felt as though motherhood was holding me back from living my purpose and my passion. I loved (love) my son dearly, of course but there was still a dissatisfaction with “just” being a stay at home Mum.

Side note, I say “just” even though I was still studying (photography) and working from home designing websites for people. I think this came from some need to prove my worth by constantly doing. On reflection I wish I had just relaxed and enjoyed more time savouring him.

I remember reading in an old Iyengar book that our dharma can be different things at different times of our lives... when we are in a particular stage of life our purpose is simply to parent, and at another stage we might be actively working in a profession that is aligned with our purpose in the world.

It’s a nice idea but I think it lacked a depth of insight that was offered by my teacher @yogaruparodstryker in his book The Four Desires.

He invites an understanding of purpose as something more of an essence, principle or unique individual expression that simultaneously lights you up and contributes to the greater world around you.

He describes it as an anchor that helps you remain true to your vision of your best self. Something like a song we authentically express in every part of our lives. It informs our decisions and our next steps. It doesn’t necessarily dictate what we do or don’t do for work, but how we show up for that work.

This new understanding of purpose has given me a greater sense of joy, presence, clarity and most importantly surrender in relationship to my mothering.

The world I wish to shape starts in the home and in turn, what I learn by anchoring into that in my home - gives me greater confidence and clarity to live my dharma in the world at large.

Have you struggled with this as a mother? Or in any other role you felt was not in alignment with your deepest purpose?

📸 by @brionygoodsell

A MANIFESTO FOR OUR TIMES Inspired by the followi

A MANIFESTO FOR OUR TIMES

Inspired by the following words that hit me hard in the guts by Shakti Gowain.

“On the traditional spiritual path we remain more or less withdrawn from the world. In this way we can be true to our spirit and avoid dealing with the attachments and patterns of our form. Unfortunately the form never has an opportunity to develop and we eventually just leave the body in order to move into other realms.

The physical world remains untransformed.

In order to create the new world, we are being challenged to move back into the world of form with full spiritual awareness. We need to recognise the discrepancy between our spirit and our form and then allow the spirit to transform the physical body, the mind, and the personality into a powerful and beautiful channel through which it can fully express itself. “

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