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Our little Luna Grace McNamara arrived via a power

Our little Luna Grace McNamara arrived via a powerfully primal and healing home birth experience in the wee hours before dusk on Friday morning. I hummed and finally roared her into the world... Lovingly supported by the quiet strength of my wonderful partner @nick.mcn and a circle of wise women holding space for us around the birth pool. Knowing I had an even wider circle of women holding me from outside the birth space.

I cannot express the profound gratitude I feel for getting the opportunity to birth in this way, in the comfort of my own home with both my sisters and my son present. Cedar coming in to stroke my head from time to time and tell me I’m doing a great job.

I wish all women found themselves in a position to birth this way if they so choose. To be supported by an amazing midwife like the wonderful @louisedavidmidwifelc , silently observing, yet knowing when to drop in with a word of support or an act of loving guidance, or (rarely) hands on assistance. To be held, supported, nourished (and photographed) by my wonderful doula Bri @the_nestingplace and then to have them all here for support and debriefing after the event.

So many lessons learned, so much processing left to be done, but for now we are all feeling pretty loved up and incredibly content in our baby bubble with Luna Grace.

📸 first two images by the wonderful Briony of @the_nestingplace

Words on waiting... On the in between times in o

Words on waiting...

On the in between times in our lives that we have been conditioned to rush through.

So I will sit, and attend to the now so as I may drink of the wisdom required for what comes next.

#birth #poetry #waiting #inbetween #liminalspace #liminalspace #words #writing #creative #expression #pregnancy #presence #thepowerofnow #now #beherenow #wildhorses #love #mother #womban #transition

Communicating with our body to release trauma...

Communicating with our body to release trauma...

Two day’s ago i had a practitioner come for a reiki/acupressure treatment. It was incredible & I quite literally went to another planet.

He connected with my baby & after some time (& intense energy in my belly) he told me my baby was ready but my uterus was scared. This made complete sense to me after the trauma of my first birth, 12 hours of a full fight or flight labour with no breaks & subsequent cesarean.

After working with my uterus he put his hands on my cesarean scar & it was like lightening... or the cut of the scalpel fresh with all the associated emotion. Little by little as he worked it, I felt it dissipate and release.

This is not the first time I have experienced this level of memory in my body. Before I fell pregnant I used to lay & massage my scar, huge emotions of grief would rise to the surface, It was like feeling the trauma as a physical pain along the scar & eventually a ball of fight or flight energy would sit in the air just above my body, vibrate frantically, then dissipate & release.

Since the session I have been talking to my uturus & my body telling them I’m sorry for believing they failed me last time.

They never failed. They did the job they were designed to in response to the fight or flight chemicals that were running through my body at the time.

I have been EFT tapping daily to communicate to my uterus, my cervix and myself that even though after Cedars birth, I believed we had “failed”, I now know we were born to birth, my body functions perfectly, it can open, it can contract & it can expand.

I finish with “I completely accept, forgive & love all parts of myself & my body for our last experience (& anyone else who was involved)”. Incredibly at the end of a session my body starts to experience subtle contractions.

The depth to which our bodies remember everything is profound. Never underestimate the power of being in deep & reverent communication with your body. It holds the story of our life within its cells. The key to unlock change is often quiet & loving conversations of touch & deep listening with the miracle that is our human body.

📸 @the_nestingplace

This has been one of the most powerful and practic

This has been one of the most powerful and practical teachings shared with me as a student and a practitioner of classical tantra. Yet despite learning this many years ago (and also having shared it with so many others, I am still a student of the art).

True wisdom comes with integration and integration, it seems, is the practice of remembrance.

I had the perfect reminder of this the other night and I have to say I’m proud of how quickly I caught myself. @nick.mcn forgot to buy me a hair clip when he went to the shopping centre, which totally triggered me and I found myself in this big spiral of anger at him for everything but also nothing (hello 40 weeks pregnant but also just being a human).

Here’s the proud human moment... I chose to go to bed because I knew it wasn't really about any of the thoughts circulating in my head... (win, to remember that in the moment).

As soon as he came to bed he put his hand on my leg, and I started to whimper... then he intuitively moved his hand to my heart - calling me back to this inner sanctum of compassion and acceptance.

It was like taking a hammer to a frozen over pool of ice. Crack! The surface is broken which allowed me to drop into this deep well of grief below.

I have no idea what the story of that grief is, I could make assumptions but in the end they won’t serve the process. The practice is to let go of the story, drop into the felt experience of the e(energy)motion and allow (in my case) the surges of grief to wash over me like waves.

Choosing to bathe in them, heart open so they can offer me their wisdom and their nourishment. Like an ocean that still nourishes no matter how cold it might be - but only once you open up to it.

It’s a gift to have someone by our side that can help facilitate this process for us but it’s available to us in every moment. So if you needed a reminder today.... to just feel it. Here it is. 💕

Today I’m sending through the last few stragglin

Today I’m sending through the last few straggling images from the last personal branding shoot with @tori.heartandheldco - such a beautiful shoot that we broke into two parts... sunrise and sunset.

It’s so interesting to see the way that each shoot takes on its own flavour. I love dark, shadowy and moody images... yet no amount of my “style” of photography seems to overshadow the personality of the muse. It’s fun to see these golden light sunset images coming out (slide 2 & 3) and notice how much they really capture Tori’s bright and golden style!

The only thing now is... after finishing all my shoots, what on earth am I going to be posting for the next phase?

Baby spam?? 🤔

Or maybe it’s time to take a break!

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